Liberal Jackassery II: Hollywood Edition
By: Madeline Deneen
Now although most of you who are reading this already know, for the record, liberal jackassery describes a specific type of asinine behavior exhibited by libs, I know second nature right? I’ve already touched on a few politicians, and don’t worry they always have my attention, but considering the latest display of celebrity liberal jackassery, I must direct my attention to a place with possibly the highest concentration of delusional, out-of-touch, uneducated people who’s opinions somehow matter…yes, I’m talking about the one and only Hollywood.
Forgive me, I’m probably skipping a few recent incidents possessing a shocking degree of liberal jackassery, but no need to worry, this will not be the last time I call out the Tinseltown crazies! From Matt Damon boasting of the importance of public education, bashing school choice, only to send his kids to private school, to Katy Perry shoving socialized medicine (AKA Obamacare) down our throats, these Hollywood libs are more in your face and just plain ridiculous and libocritical, (lib·o·crit·i·cal (adj.) Possessing the characteristics of libocrisy. Ex. Isn’t that celebrity libocritical for demanding we all forfeit our second amendment right when the common man outside of Hollywood doesn’t have a team of armed body guards to protect them?), than congress and the government propaganda machine, also sometimes referred to as “the mainstream media” combined. With that being said, it’s time to zero-in on the ever dashing, delusional future Governor George Clooney, Palestine’s protector Penelope Cruz and last, but certainly not least, the emotionally disturbed Eric Roberts…
Unfortunately, yes…it’s true. The DNC is grooming the second worst Batman for a run for California’s Governor in 2018. Perhaps they’re doing it as a practical joke, he played a convincing dirty lib presidential candidate in “The Ides of March,” so he must be fit for the real part, right? Because Arnie didn’t backfire at all…
The DNC officially set their sights on Clooney after his strategic marriage to renowned international lawyer Amal Alamuddin, serious “First Lady” material. Something tells me they won’t stop at governor…so beware California! Don’t be sucked in by his rugged, yet sophisticated sexiness. Salt-and-pepper hair does not a public servant make! Call me closed-minded, but I just don’t believe People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man of the Year” should replace being published in the Harvard Law Review on a politician’s résumé, sorry Clooney. Never mind his lack of experience, many of us frown on career politicians anyways, but what about his character? Last month Clooney lost it at the Wine & Spirits Wholesalers of America convention in Vegas when business magnate Steve Wynn criticized Obamacare over dinner. Clooney called Wynn a string of expletives, shouted, “Obama’s my f%#$in’ friend” and proceeded to storm off, continuing his profane ranting tantrum. Typical childish liberal jackassery, discussions are simply not in their nature. Well at least the gubernatorial debates should be interesting…
Penelope for Palestine (yawn)
Recently, the beautiful Spanish actress with an indecipherable accent, and now indecipherable thought process, broadcasted her support for the terrorist organization Hamas in an open letter penned by her and husband Javier Bardem. It is one thing to tear up when thinking about the poor Palestinian children who make up an overwhelming proportion of the casualties of this never-ending conflict, but an entire different ballgame when one actually defends Hamas. No, Penelope, Hamas is not a trendy new way to spell delicious hummus, it’s an organized group of militant Muslims with political power that has been designated a terrorist organization by the EU, UK, Australia, Russia, China, Japan and many other countries. Not to mention, Hamas often purposely puts children and the masses in harms way in order to elicit anti-Israel responses, so congratulations Penelope, you’re a sucker! Luckily, this idiotic, pretentious letter received a lot of flak, but most notably from conservative actor Jon Voight. Voight, the voice of reason, responded with a letter stating that the Hollywood lib jackasses should “hang their heads in shame” over their shortsightedness with the country’s situation, arguing that they “incited anti-Semitism all over the world and are oblivious to the damage that they have caused.” Although, I’m making an example out of Penelope, the truth is she has fallen victim to the commonly accepted belief that fame somehow endows you with a PhD. I think I speak for all of us when I say I liked her better when I didn’t understand her.
Eric Roberts, the much lesser known brother of Julia Roberts, committed a heinous level of liberal jackassery earlier this month, most likely in hopes of stealing the spotlight from his dazzling sister, if only for a minute. Roberts #2 had the nerve to actually blame Bush, (a prime example of liberal jackassery) for the disturbing beheading of American journalist James Folley committed and filmed by ISIS, oh wait excuse me, Bush..? Julia Roberts’ second-rate brother tweeted, “W killed James Foley. George W. Bush. He is the forgotten president as we forget & block severe trauma. @BarackObama stands for compassion.” The tweet speaks for itself, but I’ll state the obvious anyway. ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?! This is one of the most absurd demonstrations of liberal jackassery I have ever come across. Bravo Eric Roberts, you might finally win an award! For the “Liberal Jackass Quote of the Year” that is.
Although, many of you may wonder why I even waste my time with these Hollywood goons when there are so many people in actual positions of power committing liberal jackasseries regularly, but the sad truth is, these Hollywood lib jackasses reach more people with their infectious nonsense than politicians and journalists. Their fame is power for it gives credence to their thoughtless insights on politics, foreign affairs, etc., by the mere fact that we hear about it. So please California, I beg of you, don’t vote in someone who wishes to play governor, vote in a candidate who wishes to actually govern. To Penelope Cruz and liberal jackasses alike, do your homework before blindly defending terrorists or anything for that matter. And Eric Roberts, there is no hope for you.