Just got urgent news from the Washington Post. I have this urgent news right here my formerly nicotine-stained fingers ’cause I just printed it out. Urgent breaking news from the Washington Post: “You Will No Longer Be Able to Watch This Baby Panda Online if the Government Shuts Down.” Right there it is. That’s the headline right there with a picture of the panda. I’m showing it there. Urgent news, Washington Post!