Scott Walker considers border wall to keep out crusty Canadians


Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker is backtracking on the idea he recently floated about building a wall on the U.S. border with Canada. Thank goodness Walker finally remembered which border was north and which was south.

Walker seems to have fallen into a game of one-upmanship with Donald Trump, hoping to jump on the immigration bandwagon without appearing to mimic Trump. Since a border wall with Mexico is oh-so-last-debate, Walker went with the only other border no one is talking about, hoping to stand out from the crowd. It worked, for all the wrong reasons.

Walker forgot one big thing: a Canadian wall will keep out white people, like the ones featured in the photo above. Really, who wants that? The only reason why Trump supporters support a border wall is because it will keep out Mexicans, and the only Canadian we all want to keep out is Justin Bieber. It’s too late to keep Bieber out, so Trump is focusing on keeping out the poor brown people from down South.

Then again, the only time America has caught suspected terrorists crossing the border, it has been from Canada (remember the Millennium Bomber?). We also know that Canadians are sneaking in to get American health care, because Canada’s socialized health care system means having to take a number and wait a year for a couple of aspirin. Maybe we should just build a wall on the French Canadian border. Letting in English-speaking Canadians is one thing, but letting in French-speaking Canadians who won’t learn the language and undermine our culture is another matter entirely. Who needs those kind of people and their hockey-playing, souffle-loving anchor babies?


About Victor Medina

Victor Medina is a freelance writer based in Dallas. He is the editor of, and his other writing credits include The Dallas Morning News, Yahoo News, and He has served as a Dallas County election judge and on the Board of Directors of The Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza in Dallas. He is a member of the leadership team of the Cafe con Leche Republicans. You can follow him on his blog, or on Twitter at @mrvictormedina. He can be reached by email at